I don’t think a lot of people realize the power they have to make things happen.  I was guilty of not believing that, but as I look back on the things I have done, I realize I am a lot bolder than I thought. I recently read a book that a sweet friend recommended called ‘In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day” by Mark Batterson. GREAT READ!!!! It talks about how to survive and thrive when opportunity roars. This book spoke right to my heart. It made me think about some of the choices I have made over my lifetime and although I thought I was weak and timid, it turns out that I am a risk taker.

I sometimes refer to my past as a whole lot of bad choices. BUT what I have come to realize is I also made a whole lot of Good choices. Bold choices. I have never been afraid to try new things. I believe that if you don’t try, you will never know.  It takes courage to step out on Faith and take a chance of failing. Sure you can go the easy route, the safe route and work hard for the rest of your life and live with regrets, and the “what ifs”. I would rather fail a thousand times than to never had tried at all. One of the greatest things that can happen to you is that your fears become a reality. I know! You’re thinking “are you crazy???”. Opportunities often times look like obstacles, so when you overcome those obstacles you have won a major battle. I am now grateful for all of the bad things that I have endured because they prepared me for the good things. I am now able to see all the good that came from the ugliness. Sometimes it’s not about changing our circumstances but rather, changing our perspective. That seems like a simple statement but it can sometimes mean the difference between life or death.  You see the circumstances you complain about can become the chains that imprison you. So while I can’t change what has happened to me I can change the way I view it. It made me who I am today and if you read my last post you know that I LOVE ME!!!!!! AND God loves me!!!

Now I want to talk about a man named Benaiah. Benaiah is one of those cool background characters that’s only mentioned a few times in the Bible, but whenever he shows up, he’s doing something incredible.

1. Benaiah was in charge of David’s guard

The President of the United States has the Secret Service, and David had a personal guard as well. Benaiah was honored among David’s mighty men, and so David puts him over the bodyguards (2 Sa 23:23).

And boy, did David need bodyguards. There’s always going to be someone who wants the king dead, but David had some high-profile enemies. For example, half the book of First Samuel is about king Saul hunting David down. Saul knows God plans to give the kingdom to David, so Saul tries to kill off the threat to his throne.

And even after Saul dies, Benaiah has his work cut out for him. David’s son Absalom tries to steal the kingdom, and for a while David is on the run again.

But David lives. Benaiah does his job well.

2. Benaiah commands David’s mercenary forces

He didn’t oversee the Hebrew army (that was Joab’s job), but Benaiah did oversee the Cherethites and Pelethites: some nonJewish mercenary forces who fought for David.

Benaiah does, however, take a one-month shift once a year as the leader of David’s army (1 Ch 27:5–6).

3. Benaiah’s father is a priest

Jehoida was a leader among the priests, and had rallied 3,700 men to support David when he was crowned at Hebron (1 Ch 12:21). This means Benaiah is from the tribe of Levi, and a descendant of Aaron, the first high priest of Israel.

4. Benaiah’s grandfather was a valiant man, too

The authors of both Samuel and Chronicles tell us that Benaiah’s grandfather was a valiant man from the town of Kabzeel (2 Sa 23:20; 1 Ch 11:22). We don’t know anything else about him, though.

5. Benaiah killed a lion in a pit on a snowy day

That’s the part everyone remembers about Benaiah (2 Sa 23:20; 1 Ch 11:22), but there’s more to it than that. Right before telling us about the lion, the authors tell us something else Benaiah did …

6. Benaiah killed two Moabite heroes (Ariel)

Here’s where we miss some of the cool wordplay in the Bible. Our English versions will say something like, “he killed the two sons of Ariel of Moab” (2 Sa 23:20). That makes us think, “Oh, yeah. Some guy named Ariel had two sons, and Benaiah killed them.”

But OT scholars are still divided on what “sons of Ariel” means. The word Ariel is very similar to the Hebrew word for “lion,” aryeh. The KJV even translates Ariel as “lionlike men.”

If the word is related to lions, then that makes the passage about Benaiah even more epic: “Benaiah was a mighty man. He killed two heroes that were as strong and brave as lions. Also, the dude killed an actual lion.”

7. Benaiah killed an Egyptian giant

David killed Goliath, but he’s not the only giant slayer in the group. Benaiah kills a pretty tall Egyptian—five cubits, or about seven feet tall (1 Ch 11:23).

And he does it in a pretty impressive way, too. The Egyptian has an enormous spear (weaver’s beam–sized), and Benaiah has nothing but a little club. But no worries: Benaiah just snatches the spear from the Egyptian and kills him with that instead.

That’s hardcore.

8. Benaiah makes Solomon king

David had sworn that his son Solomon would be king in his place, but not everyone is rooting for Solomon.

In fact, one of Solomon’s good-looking half-brothers , Adonijah, declares himself king … while David is still alive. Of course, Adonijah is out of line.

Benaiah, however, is loyal to David, and fully backs Solomon (1 Ki 1:36–37). His mercenary army parades Solomon to his coronation (1 Ki 1:38–40). And Benaiah is the one who kills off the men who oppose Solomon (1 Ki 2:24–25, 34, 46), including David’s treacherous army commander Joab.

9. Benaiah becomes Solomon’s general

Having secured the throne for Solomon, Benaiah receives a place of even higher honor in the kingdom. Solomon gives Benaiah Joab’s old position: commander of the king’s army (1 Ki 2:35, 4:4).

Although Benaiah was a great warrior and had many feats. The most talked about was killing the lion in a pit on a snowy day.  The significance of this is “facing your fears”. I firmly believe that there are no coincidences. I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Sometimes we think we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes we beat ourselves up for ending up in those circumstances but guess what? There are no accidents. We all have a path to follow and a journey to take. We may take a few side roads but we eventually get there. So when you find yourself in a difficult situation you have two choices. You can turn and run away from the lion or you can chase the lion. Most of the time we are chasing the lion and we don’t even realize it. Some examples of lion chasing skills are:

Defying odds

Facing fears

Reframing problems

Embracing uncertainty

Taking risks

Seizing opportunities

Looking foolish

I don’t know about you but at some point in my life I have had to face every single one of these. I never really had anyone point them out to such a degree that made me look at them as skills. But after reading about Benaiah I realized that I have survival skills. Now I may not have chosen to be so bold had I not been in the situations I found myself in. I always said that I was forced to survive in a bad situation. But I had a choice. To run from the lion or chase the lion. As I read the words I began to feel excited and I began to look at myself in a whole new light. I knew that I had overcome but I now know that I made the choice to overcome and that in itself is a great feeling. Lion chasers thrive in the toughest circumstances because they know that impossible odds set the stage for amazing miracles. Did you hear me? Lion chasers thrive in the toughest circumstances because they know that impossible odds set the stage for amazing miracles. I could just leave that right there and be done. This is EXCITING!!!!! This is my life!!!!!!

Does your life reflect any situations that required you to make the choice to run from the lion or to chase the lion? Do you face fears in life? Let me answer that for you – YES YES YES. Everyone has fears, though it be small fears or large fears it still grips every part of your being and is at times debilitating. I can remember cowering in the corner over the smallest of situations that required confrontation of any kind. I can remember crying out to God to remove me from the situation so that I would not have to face my demons. And as you know, He never removed me. He did however equip me with the skills to chase that lion into that pit and kill it. (so to speak)

*******You will look back longingly on risks not taken, opportunities not seized, and dreams not pursued. Stop running away from what scares you most and start chasing the God-ordained opportunities that cross your path. In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day is inspired by one of the most obscure yet courageous acts recorded in Scripture, a blessed and audacious act that left no regrets: “Benaiah chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it” (2 Samuel 23:20 -21).

Hugs and kisses.

Everyone says that little girls need love and acceptance from their daddy in order to love and accept themselves. Yeah I missed out on that experience. A daddy is supposed to protect and cherish his little girl. I didn’t have that either. I grew up in fear and self-doubt. I searched for acceptance in other places only to find betrayal and abuse. To say that I have overcome my childhood is a gross understatement. I would like to think that I am doing ok all things considered. Although some may disagree lol.

We all grow up hearing fairy tales about princes rescuing damsels in distress and living happily ever after. What a lie straight from hell!!!! There are so many things that are wrong with these stories. I wanted to be rescued from the hell I lived in. I wanted someone to rush in on a white horse and take me away from it all. That. Never. Happened.

I grew up with the understanding that even though people treat you like shit, you learn to eat it and you say thank you in the process. Wait! What? I had such little respect for myself that I allowed people to say what they wanted, take what they wanted and treat me the way they wanted.  This included family, in fact I never even considered walking away from family members because, well, they are family. Do you know what the definition of family is? FAMILY: A group of people related to each other.  That’s it. The definition of friend is far more meaningful. FRIEND: A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. So you CAN be family and be friends but not all families are friends. I thought just because we were family that I had to accept their behaviour and be happy with it. I don’t. I had an “Aha” moment when I realized that even though I had made excuses for bad behaviour all their lives and had accepted that they are who they are because of their past, that they are in fact responsible for their actions. You can be taught bad behaviour as a child but when you become an adult you make a conscious decision to continue that bad behaviour. You become responsible for your actions but, I can choose to no longer accept that behavior.  I am responsible for my own behaviour and my own actions sooooo I decided to start eliminating negative things from my life. I am responsible for my own happiness and if your behaviour makes me feel like shit, guess what? Now I know that not all families get along all the time, and I know that we should forgive one another and love one another. I am not talking about that. I am talking about a person who absolutely takes joy in your sorrows. I am talking about a person who judges you and can’t wait to tell others all about your mistakes and hard times. A person who can’t wait to say something to hurt your feelings. A person who can’t wait to tell you “no” when you ask for help. A person who kicks you when you are down and takes pure joy in it. A person who always plays the victim even when they have done wrong. They absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their part in any situation. You have watched and listened to them talk about others over the years to such a degree of judgement and loathing only to turn around and pretend they are their best friend and they just don’t know what they would do without them. It is sickening and I simply don’t have time for it. And to all the people who believe their lies, you better watch your back because chances are they are talking about you too. Anyway, enough of that negative crap!!!! 

For some reason I had to live the journey that was laid before me. I survived. I had hard lessons and struggles but I overcame them.  I looked for love in all the wrong places only to realize that love had to come from within. I had to learn to love myself before anyone would find me lovable. I made bad choices but I learned from them.  I wanted to be accepted by other people yet I didn’t accept myself. I learned that if you want to change your circumstances you have to get off your arse and make it happen. So I began eliminating all the bullshit in my life.  Everything from material possessions to people. It has been tough but freeing at the same time.

So as I made the choice to remove negative things and people from my life I had to take a long look at myself. I had to remove the negative things that I was doing. I had to stop talking bad about myself. “I hate my body”, ‘I hate my job”, “I hate my life”. I hate, I hate, I hate. Stop that!!!! If there are things you don’t like – you have the power to change them. You don’t like the way you look in those jeans? Go to the gym. Stop eating cake everyday. Make changes. You don’t like your job? Get a new one. Go back to school. Change your career choices. You have the power.  I was in debt up to my eyeballs. I hated my job. I felt bad all the time because I was not taking care of myself. I pushed and pushed and pushed but not towards things that made a difference. I had the best intentions. I want to do this, no wait I want to do this, Oh wait, what about this. I dipped my toes in a lot of different areas and I was not doing any justice to any of them. So I had to eliminate a lot of things. I took a class, left my job, closed a business and sold my house to pay off all my debt. I needed to start fresh. I needed to make better choices, smart choices. It was a little scary making a drastic career change at this point in my life but I stepped out on faith and God has been faithful to provide every step of the way. I absolutely LOVE what I do and I love my children, I love my grandchildren, I love my friends, I love my family and guess what? I LOVE ME!!!!

Sometimes you just have to stop over thinking and over analyzing things and just be in the moment. Take a look at where you were and where you are now and realize sometimes it doesn’t matter why or how, it just matters that you are here. Learn from your mistakes, make better choices and just breathe. Be the best version of you that you can and love love love.

Hugs and Kisses Peaches!!!!

Hey Peaches!!! Can you believe it is July????? Where has the time gone? It has been a crazy busy year so far and I have noticed that I have been so busy being busy that I have not had time for nurturing my friendship/relationships. So it got me thinking…….what kind of friend am I? I think about my friends often but I don’t often reach out. I have been a little sad lately because I feel like other people have friendships that I don’t experience. Is this because I have trust issues??? Is it because I am too busy??? Is it because I have given up on finding a true friend???? Is it because I don’t put myself out there??? Most of my friendships have ended because of betrayal. Let’s back up for a minute and look at that statement a little closer.

Friendship/Friend…………..what does that mean really? A friend is one who knows us BUT loves us anyway. Not AND loves us anyway. BUT loves us anyway because none of us are perfect and none of us do the right thing ALL the time. I may not agree with everything my friends do but I try not to judge them because everyone has their own journey in life and we all have our own struggles to deal with. Friendship requires a little thing called loyalty. I expect loyalty in a friendship/relationship because I am loyal. Not perfect – but loyal.

Acceptance……….Everyone wants be accepted for who they are. You shouldn’t have to change to make someone like you. I may not LIKE everything you do but that’s ok. I LIKE you. I want to be myself and if you like me fine – if you don’t fine. But don’t pretend you do like me and gain my trust and then talk about me behind my back.

Forgiveness……..I can forgive you for your betrayal but I won’t ever be able to trust you again. So don’t expect me to put myself in that position again. We can be friendly but we are not friends. The real word for that is acquaintances.

Acquaintances…..a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.  If you have betrayed me by talking about me behind my back. By telling my deepest darkest secrets that I told you in confidence.  By spreading rumors that are not true. By judging me or my actions by talking to others about me while I am not there to defend myself or to tell the WHOLE story – not just your version of it. We are not friends. We are acquaintances.

Lost Friendships………..were they ever true friends in the first place? I say NO they were/are not.

My opinion is that life is too damn short to waste your time on people who don’t give a damn about you. Oh they pretend they do. They take and take and take and they expect more and more and more but are not willing to GIVE anything in return. Love and friendship are a two-way street. I will give you the shirt off my back if you need it. I will give you ten thousand shirts if you need them. But if you are not willing to give me a shirt when I need it. We are not friends. Think about it like this…….

“Sally and Tom were friends. Tom had hit some rough patches in his life and he struggled with keeping a job. Sally loved him and tried to encourage him to keep pushing forward and tried to assure him that with hard work and perseverance he would come out on top of his situation. Every time Tom hit a roadblock he asked Sally for help. Sally dropped everything and came to Tom’s rescue every time he asked. One day Sally asked for Tom’s help with a situation that she had and fully expected Tom to jump at the chance to help her. However Tom was too busy. He said “I’ll get to it when I can.” He never called. Sally asked again and again and again. Tom finally came to Sally’s rescue and threw her a bone. Tom was so proud of himself for helping Sally that he thought she should do something for him in return. Sally appreciated what Tom had done to help her and rewarded his efforts.  This scenario went on for years until one day Sally needed a favor, she asked Tom to help her out. Tom agreed to help Sally and Sally trusted that he would keep his word. Sally found out that Tom did not keep his word. He betrayed her.  Sally realized that Tom simply did not care for her or their friendship the way she did. Sally walked away.”

I’ve always heard it said that you can count your true friends on one hand. That you only have a few loyal friends in a lifetime. Sadly I am finding this to be true. I want a friend that doesn’t jump at the chance to broadcast my struggles to everyone who will listen. I want a friend that will cry with me and scream with me and pray with me.  I want a friend to share deepest darkest secrets with and not judge or be judged. I want a friend that is willing to do for me as much as I am willing to do for them. I want a friend that understands we are not perfect BUT we love each other anyway. I want a friend that is willing to get down in that gutter with me and fight our way out. I want a friend that expects me to be exactly what I am HUMAN. We are all human and we all want to be loved and we all want to be accepted. We all want loyalty. We all have to be loyal. Don’t stay in a relationship that does not fulfill both parties. Move on. Find your tribe. There are millions of people in the world and there is one person out there that will love you for who you are. Don’t give up. You are a lovable person and if you are willing to put yourself out there it will happen. But know this………to find a friend you have to be a friend. What kind of relationships do you have? Friendships or Acquaintances?

The struggle is real Peaches!!! Keep moving forward and reach out if you need me.