Let me start by saying “I love God my father”. I am a christian, I have been born again. I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly father and I converse with Him every day all day. But I don’t do “Church”, not in the conventional sense anyway.

I was saved when I was 12 years old in a little church called Spring Street Baptist. I have been involved in several churches in my lifetime and have crossed paths with many people. My children went to a Christian School where I worked part-time. I also served on staff as a youth director with my now ex-husband. I absolutely love the people I’ve met in church and still have relationships with some of them today. There are a few that I feel like if I called for help, they would be there in a hot minute with no questions asked. I have watched the kids that my kids grew up with turn into adults and have families of their own and I still feel like they are all my kids. I guess I said all that to say, I have a connection with people I have met in “church”. I love the memories I have of all the experiences and the relationships. BUT my experience with “christians” are not all good. There are also those who take complete solace in my demise. Oh yeah, I said it! Not all “christians” are Christ like. In fact there are those “christians” who are the first to kick you when you are down. And don’t even get me started on religion. That is a conversation for another day. I have some stories for that too. Any whoo….

So as it happens God led us to a church where we found ourselves under a Pastor that was very charismatic. He was a storyteller and very well liked, quite the charmer. And it just so happens we were on the staff at this church so we got to know the family very well. Too well.

I would like to preface this by saying I do understand that we are ALL human and that he was only a man. But this man had an impact on my life that would forever change me.

1 Timothy 3:1-3 It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money.

Like I said he was very charismatic. Looking back now I see the deception. Satan was/is a charmer, the father of lies. He creeps in slowly until he has a grip on you that strangles every ounce of reason and good judgement. For those who never saw the evil side, I apologize for exposing you to it. I hope you continue to take the good that you received from him and his “ministry”. For those of you that saw the evil first hand, I know you will agree with me when I say, I am glad he is gone. Gone from my life and gone from this earth. Is that a terrible thing to say? He can no longer deceive and destroy. That’s a good thing, right? I mean God saw fit to take him so it was time for him to go.

The story I am about to tell you sounds a little like a fictional novel filled with deception, corruption and greed. The only thing is……. it’s not fiction. It is however, my opinion based on first hand knowledge of events that I experienced.

We met this man and his family when our church had experienced a split. Our attendance was a little down and we needed a new pastor and new leadership. He came in as an interim and lifted our spirits immediately. He was quite the story-teller. He had a talent for  relaying the scripture in a way so that you could relate it to your present day life. After a while we offered him a  position as our pastor. He turned it down because it was not enough money. Even though he had a full-time job and was a preacher part-time and even though we were a little low in membership, he had the opportunity to grow this church into a salary that suited his demands. I’m sorry, what???? The reason for turning down the offer was because he demanded a certain amount of money. Now I may be looking at this all wrong but isn’t a preacher supposed to go where the people need him? Where God leads him? Should money be a factor? There is a fine line there between faith and greed (in my opinion). So he ended up leaving and taking a church of a much smaller scale but  this little church had a celebrity and quite a few members that were very successful and all big tithers. They spoke his language. A little while later he called us to offer a position as the youth leaders. Now you have to understand that at the time we were still caught up in the deception so we were eager for a change and accepted the position. We met some of the best people in the world at this church, people who will forever be in our lives and in our hearts but this is also where we met the “man”.

Some time after we became members of the church and part of the staff we found ourselves in the middle of a situation. One of the members had accused him of rape and said that a pregnancy resulted in that rape. Now because she didn’t want her husband to know who the father was, she told him that a stranger in a parking lot attacked her and raped her and she became pregnant. They decided to get an abortion. She was so consumed with guilt over the whole thing she finally broke down and told us what happened. There was a meeting to discuss the details of the accusations and this person was in the hot seat. I must say looking back she was very strong to sit there on trial in front of her alleged attacker. We all asked questions and she gave details that were compelling. I walked away with the opinion that something probably did happen but I was not convinced, due to personal involvement with the accuser at the time of the alleged incident, that it was non-consensual. The result of this seemingly lack of belief on my part apparently gave them the notion that they had my support and loyalty. And at the time I guess it was true. So I became part of the tribe. I was in. We had very intimate conversations about things that were happening within the family and I saw that they had struggles just like every other family. I knew things. Things that I kept to myself. Because, who am I after all to pass judgement given all the things I had gone through. We are human and we do have struggles, real struggles. But I believe it is how you react in the midst of these struggles that reveal the true character of humans. In my opinion, this family did not pass the integrity test.

I’ve seen situations of betrayal, lies and viscious attacks on other humans. One situation in particular was the introduction of someone very close to me to their daughter. This was a very well planned attack. They begged me to introduce and I refused for the longest and then one day it happened. And lo an behold they went out and very soon after she became pregnant. They came to me scared to death and asked for my help. They wanted to get married. So I agreed to help them. I knew that the preachers daughter being pregnant out of wedlock was a very sensitive situation so we kept it quiet. I helped them pick out a ring so they could announce their engagement. They decided that they would buy a cubic circonium instead of a diamond becuase it was more cost effective. (I personally see nothing wrong with this – people do it all the time) They announced their engagement to the church and the “pastor” bragged and bragged on how beautiful the ring was. Well the daughter, for some reason felt guilty that she didn’t tell her parents that the ring wasn’t a real diamnond that she informed them of the fact. He (pastor) became enraged. He called me and cussed me out for helping them with this lie and deception. Did you hear what I said? My “pastor” called me and CUSSED me out. I mean that in a litteral sense. He cussed me. I was appalled, disappointed and down right disgusted at the attitude of this – they were more upset about the ring not being “real” than they were of her being pregnant. Well time went on the pregnancy came closer to full term and there was still no wedding. The couple fought a lot. I mean after all they barely knew each other. SO this person who was very close to me called me a lot for advice and I was there for him, I listened and I sympathized and I gave advice when asked. He was so distraught and didn’t know what to do. At this point I thought he needed to know all the facts so he could make a well informed decision. So I told him things I knew of this person. Personal things. And in the end he decided to marry her. The things I told him came back against me with a vengance.

So years went by and there were more children, and there were affairs and lies and deception on a scale that absolutely blows my mind. There was destruction of property there was false imprisonment and threats of things much worse. In fact he (pastor) swore to destroy this person close to me if it were the last thing he ever did. And he tried his very best to do so. Finally, five childern later there was a divorce. These children were kept from the father and his family and were told so many lies about the father and his family that those relationships are gone and may never be recovered. We have resigned ourselves to that fact.

These people were very cunning in that they would surround themselves with what we came to call “lap dogs”. They friended people in places of authority that would believe their lies and do their bidding. They surrounded themselves with people who were drawn in to the deception. You see this became a full on attack of my family and it was wide spread and it went on for years, in fact they are still trying to spew their poison on to us through other extended family members. They have moved from church to church taking money and ruining lives. He (pastor) is now gone but his family still carries on the tradition of using and abusing people. The daughter has now had six other husbands, some who I have personally spoken to, who sought us out to try to understand the nature of their deception. They have told me stories of drugs, alcohol abuse, theft, fraud, false imprisonment, sexual relationships with minors and child neglect and abuse. No one will stand up to them because they know too many people who can make their lives miserable so they walk away and try to recover from the destruction.  Many lives have been destroyed by this family. SO my question is this: How much good do you have to do to offset the bad? Yes he touched lives for good but he also destroyed lives for bad. He and his family have affected my life and my family in a way that may never be healed here on earth. So I keep my personal relationship with my heavenly father private. I don’t share it in a building with so called “christians”. I don’t put my trust in people that go to a building to pretend to be something they are not. That is not church. We are the church. Church is supposed to build each other up not tear each other down. If you belong to a church that is not filling you with the spirit of God then it is not a church.

I hated this man and his family for a long time. Yes I said HATE. You may say – you are a christian, you are not supposed to hate, you are supposed to love your neighbor. In a perfect world this is true. BUT this is far from a perfect world. We are in a war people. A spriritual war and we are fighting for our lives. I have fought and fought and fought but then I realized, I can’t fight THEM. I am fighting EVIL – they are EVIL.

We’re in a battle in this world. We may not see it, we might forget it’s there. But the enemy would love nothing more than to fill you with discouragement and defeat, bringing fear and stress. Don’t let him win.

If you’re a believer who is living like salt and light in a dark world, you won’t go for long without encountering spiritual warfare – obstacles and attacks he’ll hurl your direction. God reminds us in His word to stay aware of Satan’s schemes, to live alert in this world, and to stay close to Him.

He arms us with the sword, the Word of God, to stand against the enemy’s lies. He equips us with strength, wisdom, and discernment through His own Spirit to stay strong in the spiritual warfare battle. He invites us to spend time in His Presence, through prayer and worship, pressing in to know Him more.

As we grow to know God’s Truth and what is real, we also know more what is false, and we are stronger to stand against it in the powerful name of Jesus. He never leaves us to fend for ourselves in a dark world, but reminds us He is constantly with us, fighting for us, even when we cannot see.

Praying God’s words back to Him, is a powerful weapon against the forces of evil. It is Truth going out. It reminds us that God knows our way and understands what we face today. It builds our faith and our trust in God. It guards our hearts and focuses our minds back on Him. It wins the battle.

I had to move on, this could not control my life,  I had to let it go. The sadness of lost relationships with these children were all consuming but we have no control over it. I had to turn it all over to God. I recently listened to one of his sermons that is on a public website just to see if I would actually throw up at the sound of his voice. I didn’t, instead God spoke to me and said “You belong to Me, you do not belong to him”. This family is human and they will answer for their decisions. He (pastor) is gone from this earth – he is missing out on the relationships that he stripped from us. He is not there to defend his family, he is not here influencing people for evil deeds. He is gone – gone from my life. And in this I rejoice. I have peace. I have won this battle.

I believe God can use anyone and anything to get His message to the people. Even bad experiences. Every teachable moment in life, we have a choice to decide how it affects us. Stay in the scripture and have faith that you are not alone in this battle. Hugs and Kisses!

1. “Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

2. “You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4

3. “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:3-5

4. “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” 1 Pet. 5:8-9

5. “No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; and every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me,” declares the Lord.” Is. 54:17

6. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Eph. 6:11-17

7. “In all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Rom. 8:37

8. “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Cor. 15:57

9. “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord of hosts.” Zech. 4:6

10. “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.” 2 Thess. 3:3

11. “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.” Luke 10:19

12. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

13. “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” Matt. 18:18-19

14. “The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways.” Deut. 28:7

15. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

16. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Cor. 10:13

17.  “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

18. “Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” Rom. 12:21

19. “And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Rev.12:11

20. “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1 Tim. 6:12

21. “,,,On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Matt. 16:18

22. “…the reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” 1 John 3:8

23. “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Is. 40:31

24. “One of your men puts to flight a thousand, for the Lord your God is He who fights for you, just as He promised you.” Josh. 23:10

25. “Do not fear them, for the Lord your God is the one fighting for you.” Deut. 3:22

26. “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?” Rom. 8:31

27. “Through You we will push back our adversaries, through Your name we will trample down those who rise up against us.” Ps. 44:5

28. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Josh. 1:9

29. “For You have girded me with strength for battle; You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.” Ps. 18:39

30. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart…” Ps. 91:1-4

31. “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chron. 20:15