Month: September 2018

A Letter to My Enemies

/ specialagentrenee / 4 Comments

Ephesians 6:10–12 says, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” This text teaches some crucial truths: we can only stand strong in the Lord’s power, it is God’s armor that protects us, and our battle is ultimately against spiritual forces of evil in the world.

I was recently on vacation at the beach and as I spent my mornings drinking coffee, doing my daily devotions and praying, I had this overwhelming feeling that God was about to do something amazing.  As I looked out over the vast ocean, I couldn’t help but to think of how small I am in the grand scheme of things and how GREAT God is, I was also reminded of how far I have come and how many battles I have been through.  One morning as I was praying for a family member that had suffered a stroke and was in the hospital I looked up and God gave me the most beautiful rainbow and as I cried and thanked him for his promise he gave me a double rainbow. I was so overwhelmed with gratefulness.  Later in the day we were sitting on the beach and were talking about how Great God was for sending that confirmation when we were visited by a dragonfly. We were speaking of how a certain family member who had gone on to be with Jesus, loved dragonflies. I immediately said, that is her telling us everything is going to be ok. No sooner than I got that statement out of my mouth, about 15 dragonflies came from what seemed like right over the ocean and were swarming all around us. We began to weep and thank God for His blessings. I began to thank Him for all the things I have been through because they have made me who I am today. I also began to thank Him for my enemies and I felt that I needed to let them know how thankful I am for their part in my life so I decided to write them a letter.

 

 

 

Jeremiah 30:16 says,  For I will restore you to health And I will heal you of your wounds,’ declares the LORD, `Because they have called you an outcast, saying: “It is Zion; no one cares for her.” 

Dear “You Know Who You Are”,

I am writing this letter to let you know how grateful I am for your part in my life. You have helped make me a better person. I want to thank you for hating me so much that you have done everything in your power to try to destroy me. Thank you for telling me how unlovable I am and how unworthy I am. Thank you for trying to make me feel so useless and ugly. Thank you for telling me how fat I am. Thank you for telling me that I will never amount to anything. Thank you for trying to steal my joy and my faith. Thank you for pretending to be my friend. Thank you for betraying me. Thank you for trying to steal my success. Thank you for laughing at me. Thank you for degrading me. Thank you for trying to determine my worth. Thank you for talking about me behind my back. Thank you for spending so much time of your life worrying about mine. You have given me the strength to be better, to work harder, to trust people less and God more, to have more compassion for others, to love myself the way I am, to change the things I can, to realize that God’s opinion of me is the only one that matters. My worth is determined by who God says I am.  For He has created me in His own image. He formed me in the womb and He loved me before He knew me. He chose me. I am the apple of His eye. I am His beloved. I am no longer a slave, but a child and an heir. I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God. I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance. I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. I have been justified and redeemed. In Christ Jesus, I have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. The peace of God guards my heart and mind. God supplies all my needs. I have been made complete in Christ. I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. I am a child of God. The power of God is on my side. If He is for me, who can be against me? None, no not one. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed am I when people insult me, persecute me and falsely speak all kinds of evil against me. I will rejoice and be glad, because great is my reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before me.

I pray that whatever it is in your life that controls you and your thoughts will be loosed. I pray that you can come to an understanding of forgiveness for the ones who have hurt you. I pray that you will find peace in your life so that you can put all your thoughts and efforts into helping others instead of  trying to destroy them. I pray you can forgive yourself for whatever it is that binds you. Thank you for being a part of my journey in this life. I forgive you. I am blessed.

In His love,

Me

 

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe there are any accidents. I have been guilty of saying, “I wish I had never met them”, “I wish I could go back and change that day”. But I have had to realize that they were a part of my journey, put in my life to teach me life lessons. I may never understand why but I do trust God and I do trust that He loves me and will always fight for me. Sometimes the most meaningful lessons are the hard ones. I am reminded of raising my children and letting them learn lessons by making mistakes and bad choices. Our heavenly Father allows the same in our lives. And I am not saying it is easy because it is not. I would much rather hate them and feel sorry for myself. I could spend all of my  time wishing for bad things to happen to them but that would be a total waste of my time and energy. They are going to get what is coming to them no doubt. I would rather spend my time enjoying life and being happy and I choose to release them from my thoughts so that I can think on good things. Lord don’t let me fill my thoughts with their poison. I am done. I am blessed. I am loved. God’s blessings are all around us. Take time look and to listen.

 

Hugs and Kisses Peaches! Blessings to you all.

 

 

I’m Not A Bad Girl

/ specialagentrenee / Leave a comment

Before you judge me or my choices, you have to walk a mile in my shoes. You have to read the whole book not just one chapter. Or better yet, don’t judge me at all! I am sure that there are people out there saying “What in the world is she thinking?” “Why is she airing her dirty laundry?”. Well, it’s like this…….I really don’t care what they think. Their thoughts are not my business – they are their problem. I am responsible for my thoughts. I am human, I don’t try to be something I am not. We all have thoughts and feelings that we keep private. We may have that one friend that we confide in but we mostly keep it to ourselves. But guess what? You can’t hide your heart from God. Whether you ever say it out loud or not He knows your every thought. I could care less how the world sees me as long as I stay true to myself. We all have different circumstances and we all make the best choices we can with what we have at the time.

I recently read a blog post titled “An Open Letter to the Christian Bad Girl”. I am not sure I agree with some of the statements made. But it did spark a question. What does it mean to be a bad girl? I ride a motorcycle. I have tattoos. I say cuss words. I enjoy an adult beverage from time to time. I have been married and divorced. Does that make me a bad girl? Some would say yes. I say, define bad. Have you ever looked up “bad” in the dictionary? Holy crap batman!!!!!

Bad: 
depraved, corrupt, base, sinful, criminal, atrocious, putrefied, adverse, unlucky, unhappy.
Bad, evil, ill, wicked are closest in meaning in reference to that which is lacking in moral
qualities or is actually vicious and reprehensible.
Bad is the broadest and simplest term: a bad man; bad habits.
Evil applies to that which violates or leads to the violation of moral law: evil practices.
Wicked implies willful and determined doing of what is very wrong: a wicked plan.
And the list goes on and on and on. Look it up. I never knew one little word could mean
so much! So let me ask you again. Am I a bad girl?  I’ll let you be the judge. (HA no pun intended) You know you are going to. You can’t help it because you think you are better than me because you made “better” choices. Or did you?
I think it is all about perspective and intent. No one knows the intent of my heart except my Heavenly Father. He created me, He knew me before I was formed, He knows everything I am going to do before I even do it. He knows my past and He knows my future.
I jokingly call myself a Badass because of all the crap I have overcome. It’s just a way of saying I am strong woman. I am not a bad woman. Big difference.
Some would say that if you are a Christian you can’t enjoy things of this world. I disagree.  I think we should enjoy life the to fullest while we are here. I know I have said that before. It’s because I believe it to be true. But I will say this, everyone has their own opinion of what enjoying life is. You can enjoy life without hurting other people. Your happiness is not contingent on inflicting pain to others. Right?
My family has endured nasty assaults from another “Christian” family for years. We recently had to go to court with them and I made it publicly known that we were in battle with this family and asked for prayer to get us through it. Only God knows all the vile, nasty, evil intentions of this family.
We were connected to this family in two ways. So two family battles have been ongoing for the last 20 plus years. That’s a long damn time!!!!!! How can you inflict unnecessary pain onto others for so long?  I just don’t get it. They must just be so miserable with their own nasty little lives that they just have to put that bad energy somewhere.
This family is led by two sisters. Two of the most unpleasant people I have ever come in contact with(and that is putting it nicely). Two sisters who sit in judgement of others lives so much that they decide who is worthy of relationships. And I will also mention that it is not just our family that is on their list. I know many other families that they spew their evil on. But ours just happens to be related by marriage/divorce. So there are children involved. Those children are the true victims here.
These two women call themselves christians, they claim to live better lives than us. They claim that we are not worthy to have a relationship with our children/grandchildren/nieces/nephews/cousins. Why you ask? According to them, we are alcoholics because we drink wine or decorate with wine bottles. (some of us don’t even touch the stuff) According to them we are unfit because of the clothes we wear. According to them we are bad people because we support our family members even when they do bad things. According to them we are unworthy of these relationships simply because they don’t agree with how we live or just because they don’t like us. That my friends, is called “judgement”. And with this judgement comes consequences.
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

Romans 2:1 | NIV | righteousnessneighbor
Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

Matthew 7:1 | NIV | law
A person may think their own ways are right,
but the Lord weighs the heart.

Proverbs 21:2 | NIV | righteousnessunderstandingthoughts
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.

Romans 14:13 | NIV | gentlenessneighbor
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.

Matthew 12:36 | NIV | speaking
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Matthew 7:3 | NIV | sin
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Luke 6:37 | NIV | forgiveness
Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

Romans 14:4 | NIV | faithequipment
“No weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.

Isaiah 54:17 | NIV | righteousnessprotectionidols
All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law.

Romans 2:12 | NIV | sinlawpunishment
I am going to tell you the things I know to be true about these people and their families, not to judge or boast but to show that they are not perfect either and some of the very things they judge us for is also very prevalent in their lives.
One sister’s family had a husband that drank and cussed and then stood in the pulpit on Sundays, she has a son that does and sells drugs (or did for years), she has a daughter who has been married about 7 times that I know of. She has had many many many sexual partners/relationships. She stole a huge amount of money from one of her husband and his family. She has left her minor children alone at night to go have encounters with men. She has had sexual relationships with under aged boys. She has been fired from schools because of her inappropriate behaviour and had to change careers because she can’t teach in two different States. She had an innocent man put in prison for false allegations of child abuse because he wouldn’t succumb to her demands.  She had me put in jail because of an encounter she provoked and pulled her strings to have my release delayed and when I was told to avoid her she would call my house on a regular basis to say “I am calling to say HEY, just because I f”ing can!” (all charges were dropped due to unfounded evidence), She recently had her 6th child with the 3rd father. She hasn’t raised any of her 5 children together. They have all been farmed out at one time or another to other family members all the while being kept from their father and his family that absolutely adores them. She has done drugs for years and drinks alcohol and she cusses. And I could go on and on. Then she goes to church and pretends to be the sweet little mother raising her kids alone. I know these things to be the absolute truth because I have witnessed some and have spoken to all the other parties involved. Not because I sought it out but because they reached out to me to see if their encounters with this family had been a pattern or just a one time event. There are a lot of people out there affected by this to the point they are in fear for their lives. Not kidding or exaggerating.
Then there is the other sister. Her husband has had several adulterous affairs, her children knew about them and kept it from her. One of her daughters had an affair with a co-worker and broke up his family and wonders why his children won’t have anything to do with her, she also drinks alcohol. Their son had an affair with a co-worker within months of his marriage. He drank alcohol and abused over the counter drugs to the point that it caused a neurological problem and now he has been diagnosed with a mental disorder and is on social security. He stays in bed for days at a time and can’t even take care of himself but a Judge (in the pocket of the family) gave him shared custody of his minor children. He has had numerous car accidents due to his constant drug induced state. He is always bragging about his 300 dollar tennis shoes and the newest gadgets and electronics that he has purchased, all the while telling the judge he can’t afford to pay for the children to be involved in any extra curricular activities (such as dance that they were in since they could walk) or to pay child support.  And I could go on and on.
I am telling you these things so you know that they are not perfect and some of the very things they judge us for, they are doing themselves all the while saying and thinking they are better than us. Telling people in churches and legal positions what awful people we are. Now we are not perfect and we do have skeletons in our closets and I have talked about some of those things in my blog posts. I do not claim to be perfect and without blemish and I don’t think my family is perfect, we are just trying to live the best we can in a not so perfect world. We love our children, our grandchildren and our great grandchildren. And we love each other. We are loyal to each other (well some of us are anyway) and we stand against this family in prayer. We don’t pretend to understand why they do what they do. Some would say they are bad people. And if you go back and read the definition of bad it would seem that based on the things they have done to others that they are indeed bad people. I don’t know their motives and only God knows their hearts and their intentions. What I do know is that I have to forgive them.
I forgive them for breaking my parents hearts, I forgive them for destroying my brothers spirit, I forgive them for robbing us of relationships with our precious ones, I forgive them for trying to destroy our reputations, I forgive them for taking from us, I forgive them for every offense they have bestowed upon me and my family. I choose to move on from the bondage of their vile intentions. Dear Lord I forgive. Break the chains that bind us! Release us from their evil grip! Hold them accountable for their actions and return to us everything that was taken! In Jesus’ name I pray!
Go hug your loved ones and forgive while you can.
Hugs and kisses Peaches!!!!